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Stuen Hall

RHC Bio's

The Residence Hall Council

Below are the people that lord over the halls of Stuendome. They work to make sure the Pot of Stu is simmering nicely, not boiling over and burnt. However, I don't know much about them, so I'm just going to make up outlandish stories for each of them beneath their Facebook links (you may need an account to view their profiles) and leave it at that...unless they give me a bio, which I will gladly put in its place.


President - Nick Gysberg

Nick was actually the twelfth son of a Minnesota iron-mining family near the Canadian border. His parents mailed him in a Reebok shoe box to the steps of a Lutheran superchurch in Minneapolis, hoping that they might be able to instill upon him sound morals, a can-do attitude, and just a sprinkle of panache. To make a long story short, they failed.

Vice-President - Tim Siburg

Tim was actually an original member of the Mahavishnu Orchestra, alongside jazz greats Mahavishnu John McLachlan on guitar and Billy Cobham on drums. He left the band just after "Birds of Fire" was released, and became obsessed with Vice Presidenting. He studied the works of Dan Quayle and other Vice Presidential Theorists, and today he is living one of his life dreams. The other is to develop a new Crispex-esque cereal that will never get soggy.

Secretary - Kirsta Dunlap

Kirsta is most fondly remembered by those who knew her in her past life as Kahlil Gibran, the mystical Lebanese poet whose work "The Prophet" is perhaps the most important religious treatise of the 20th century.

Treasurer - Justin Seppi

Justin was the commanding officer of PT-247, a small patrol craft based in the Solomon Islands during the last two years of the Second World War. However, as he lives in a massive delusion projected out of his twisted little head, it wasn't a patrol boat at all...it was a longboat! He crafted a full suit of Viking armor out of palm fronds, coconuts and the shells of various crustaceans, and began to speak in broken Norwegian. It was an interesting time to be in the Navy, but the admirals above him thought it was so hilarious that he was honorably discharged and now lives comfortably off of a pension of $525,000 annually.

Public Relations - Holly Borroff

Holly spent a lot of time in pre-revolutionary China and Russia, inciting rebellions against the Qing and Romanov Dynasties respectively. This earned her the respect of rising socialist rulers throughout the world, not the least of whom was Ho Chi Minh, who requested a personal audience with this femme fatale in Saigon in 1921. On the menu was roasted duck, which was served with a sort of fish sauce (for such things are popular in Southeast Asian cuisine), steamed rice, and Strawberry Quik (or something like Strawberry Quik...keep in mind, this was only 1921). Anyway, after dinner they watched "Intolerance" by D.W. Griffith and starring the fabulous Silent Age actress Lillian Gish, after which they bid each other farewell and departed by rail to their respective homes. Or something like that.

Community Involvement - Svea VanAtter

"Now Svea," laughed former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, "there's a genuine loony! I recall one incident in particular to give you some idea of what I mean. The two of us were in Chemistry class early on in grammar school, when she suddenly began to converse with the various beakers and glasswear around her in the middle of a lecture. When asked if there was a problem, she said in earnest, 'I just feel like I don't even know these people, even though I see them every day in class...so I'm introducing myself.' Strange girl."

Historian - Cori Jo Jahnsen

I am afraid typing anything of Cori Jo's past on a public Webpage could land us both in prison. :-/

Programmer - Jodie Rottle

Few historians aware that Jodie was actually the fourth astronaut sent along on the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. She was in charge of programming the moon and making sure all of the equipment was in working order...it's hard to run the largest hoax in human history with a malfunctioning camera!

Intramural Sports - Ryan Donaldson

All you need to know about Ryan is he did this last year too. How about you get a new hobby, Ryan?

New Students - Dan McCarthy

Dan, like his father, has a bad habit of running through college campuses, office buildings, and the United States Capital wildly accusing people of being card-carrying communists. One would think that the McCarthy family would have figured it out by now, but we just let him do his own thing, and we support him anyway. That's what Stuen is all about...accusing people of being communists.

Spiritual Activities - Tyler Scott

Tyler has always been there for you, you just haven't realized it. Like when you were walking down that dark alley a couple years ago and sneezed, and you heard somebody mumble, "Bless you" from the shadows, it was Tyler. When you received all of those anonymous love letters in the mail signed in blood, they were probably from Tyler as well (though, to be fair, I did go through an anonymous-love-letter-signed-in-blood phase myself).

Co-Environmental Justice Directors - Thomas Siburg and Michelle Davis

Who could forget these two? Granted, it was a little bit before our time, but ask your parents and they will tell you all about "The Tom and Michelle Variety Hour." These two were the king and queen of prime time between 1974-1979, heading an all-star comedy cast that featured (on a rotating basis) Jean-Paul Sartre, Charlie Daniels, Gregory Peck, Siddhartha Gautama, and the occasional delegation of anonymous Latin American meat-packing glitterati. After CBS pulled the plug amidst allegations of major parking violations by Thomas, however, the two became environmental activists and bought a cheese factory.

Webmaster - Jeff Rud

Little more is needed to establish this man's torment by inner demons than knowing that he wrote everything on this page within thirty minutes, giggling to himself.

"Why am I not listed?"

Because you're just a bloody RA, and I'll add you later. :-)