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Home>>Health Issues>>Stress>>Don't Believe Everything You Think
"Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it"
~Irving Berling
We all know people that can make a great story out of everyday events, others that seem to view their lives as one catastrophe after another, or people that appear to flow through life on a stream of good luck. What's the difference? Everyone has different circumstances to deal with and difficulties to overcome, but your outlook on life and the spin you put on events and interactions is what makes all the difference. Reason and reality count of course, but our perceptions and misconceptions play a bigger role.
"The human understanding is like a false mirror, which, receiving rays irregularly, distorts and discolors the nature of things by mingling its own nature with it."
~Francis Bacon
Self-talk is the endless stream of thoughts that narrate your life during all your waking hours. These can be positive or negative thoughts and, although it appears to be partially genetically determined, you can learn to think more positively. Benefits of positive thinking go beyond social and professional successes and affect health as well.
Cognitive distortions are inaccurate thoughts or ideas that have overpowered logic and reason and maintain negative thinking. They include:
- Filtering--focusing exclusively on certain, usually negative, aspects of something while ignoring the rest.
- Personalizing--assuming you or others directly caused bad things to happen.
- Jumping to conclusions--assuming negative where there is no evidence to support it such as a) mind reading where you assume the intentions of others, or b) fortune telling where you predict how things will turn out before they happen.
- Magnification and Minimization--exaggerating or understating the way things truly are. Often positive characteristics of others are exaggerated and negative ones understated. Catastrophing is a subtype of magnification where the worst outcome is anticipated.
- Polarizing--things are seen as bad or good with no middle ground. You have to be perfect or you are a failure.
- Should Statements--concentrating on what should be rather than what is or having rigid rules which should always apply no matter what the circumstances.
"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination"
~John Lennon
You can learn to think more positively, but it takes practice.
Try stopping throughout your day to evaluate what you are thinking. If the thoughts are negative, assess how much reality is really involved or if they are a product of cognitive distortions. Find a more positive way to view things.
Remember what Thumper's mother said, "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all." and that includes to yourself.
Examples of changing from negative to positive self-talk are:
| Negative Thoughts | Positive Thoughts |
| " I messed up again." |
"I learned something from this." |
| "It's always this way." |
"It's been a hard day, but tomorrow can be different." |
| "I won't be good at this." |
"Everyone was a beginner at one time and I might love it." |
| "This is too complicated for me." |
"If I break it into smaller steps I can work on it." |
| "I'm sure this must be my fault." |
"I did my best. What could I change next time?" |
| "What will other people think?" |
"I believe in my own values and priorities." |
| "I'm not really wanted here." |
"I want to be here and will make the most of it." |
If you feel mired in negativity and that it is affecting your ability to function seek help. There are resources available on and off campus.