Voices Against Violence

Sexual Violence

Sexual assault is unwanted sexual contact. Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal or oral penetration.

Myths and Facts

MYTH: Most rapists are strangers who hide in dark alleys waiting to attack.  Nice girls who don't talk to strangers and who stay home at night won't get raped.
FACT: Most rapists are not strangers.  8 out of 10 rapes are committed by someone the survivor knows.  6 out of 10 sexual assaults occur in the survivor's home or the home of a friend, relative, or neighbor and can occur at any time of the day or night.  Trust is one of the most common weapons used by perpetrators to commit a sexual assault.

MYTH: Rape has to do with sex and passion.
FACT: Rape is not about sexual desire but is a crime of violence expressed through sex. The rapist wants power and control over the victim. Force and/or the threat of force is used.

MYTH: Incest and child sexual abuse are rare.
FACT: Incest and child sexual abuse are common and happen in every community.  One in four girls and one in six boys are sexually abused as children.  11% of rape victims are raped by their fathers or stepfathers; another 16% are raped by other relatives.

MYTH: Women cry rape to get back at someone.
FACT:: The FBI has stated that only 1-2% of rape reports are suspected to be false. This is approximately the same rate of false reports as that for all other crimes. And for every rape that is reported, 10 to 20 are estimated as being unreported.

MYTH: Women provoke  or "ask for" rape by wearing sexy clothes, flirting, drinking, staying out late, or going out alone.  If a person goes to someone's room or goes to a bar, she assumes the risk of sexual assault.  Women should know not to put themselves in dangerous situations.
FACT: The survivor is never to blame for sexual assault.  This "assumption of risk" wrongfully places the responsibility of the perpetrator's actions on the victim.  Perpetrators are responsible for choosing to sexually violate someone, irrespective of the choices made by a survivor about dress, behavior, or alcohol.  there is no correlation between who is raped and the clothes they are wearing or their flirtatious behavior at the time.  Sexual assault is a humiliating, near death situation.  No person would ask for or deserve such an attack.

MYTH: Rape is the victim's fault: "If she didn't want to do it, why did she go to his place? She knew what kind of guy he was!" "You know how she gets when she's drunk. " "Oh, she sleeps around."
FACT: Statements such as these put the blame on the victim and not on the offender. Rape is never the victim's fault. Even if she did something that puts her in a vulnerable position, she did not ask to be sexually assaulted.

MYTH: It's not as traumatic to be raped by someone you know.
FACT: Just because the victim knows the rapist doesn't make it any less a crime or any easier to deal with. Often the emotional impact of acquaintance rape seems greater than that of stranger rape. Also, the victim may have a strong feeling that no one will believe her. Her trust in others and in her own judgment is violated.

MYTH: Rapists are mentally ill.
FACT: The majority of rapists are ordinary guys who believe in the myths of the stereotypical macho male and have no history of mental disorders.

MYTH: If a person kisses or makes out with someone, she is inviting further sexual activity.  She can't claim to have been sexually assaulted if the sexual activity escalates beyond what she intended.
FACT: If a person consented to engage in some sexual activity, it does not serve as blanket consent for all sexual activity.  If a person is unsure about whether the other person is comfortable with an elevated level of sexual activity, the person should stop and ask.  When someone says "No" or "Stop," that means STOP.  Sexual activity forced upon another without consent is sexual assault.