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On secret first loves

a note to myself reminding myself of my first love

Posted by:
October 20, 2021

I have a secret… 

I’m in love. 

But the thing is, I don’t know them all too well. 

They act so confidently and are just the most beautiful person

But they don’t seem to realize. 

 

I try so hard to make them notice 

They just brush it off as a joke

 

She accepts the compliments given to her gratefully

But in the back of her mind she does not believe them

 

Too many times there have been sweet words that turn bitter after digesting them

She is cautious

She is kind

 

There are just too many words to describe her

But there are not enough words to truly describe her

 

She hears so many things that tell her what she is

And what she’s not

 

‘You’re gorgeous’

‘Oh you’re so exotic’

 

The comments made to uplift cause her to break down

 

I’m in love with this girl

She is the best thing that has ever happened to me

I don’t know what I would do without her

 

I’m obsessed with the way she smiles at the world with warmth

In hopes that she will receive a small grin back

 

I hope she sees this and realizes that there are people who love her

She is appreciated

 

There is so much to her

I want to know about it all. 

I hope she lets me in one day.

I hope she sees herself the way I see her. 

 

I have a secret:

I am in love with myself, 

But I don’t know where to start. 

Casiana Lucero (She/Her) 

CGE Affinity Intern

Business Administration, Concentration in Entrepreneurship