Trip Leaders

Andrew might look like a child, however he is a grown man. A good man. Some of his nick names are "little bro" or "bud", so feel free to refer to him as either of those on trips. Andrew hates Patagonia and people who wear it. He tells people that one of his teachers used to call him the 'varninatorrr' in a cool voice but that is made up; he was homeschooled all his life. He grew up in rural Indiana, so corn jokes hit a little too close to home. Parkland is the largest metropolitan area he has ever been to. He dreams of mowing lawns in the near future. Nursing is but one stepping stone in the long road to bartending in Miami, FL. His favorite book is Little House on the Prairie to remind himself of better times when he is sad. He supports the Atlanta Falcons but Amari Cooper is his favorite wide receiver. Andrew eats cornstarch if he feels that he is below his caloric intake while bulking. He is a certified pilot in Indiana.

Britt. Britt. Britt. Britt. Britt. Ohhhhhhhhhh Britt. Yummy yummy yummy. What to say. So much. Oh wow, what a fun bio. Yummy yummy yummy. Oh Britt. Born in a tree. Sitting with me. Oh Britt. Yummy yummy yummy. Eating a tree, with a free can of spam. Oh Britt. Yummy yummy yummy. A true adventure, from the land of Spanaway. Born on a lake, perhaps a mistake? She once ran a mile, with lots of mad style. I'm sure she's encounter a bear and was not afraid. Yummy yummy yummy. It's time to go now, prepare yourself well. Britt is a great leader, a great leader indeed. Yummy yummy yummy. Gucci flipflops.

(Please read in a high pitched voice) Kaw-Kaaaaaall! Kaw-Kaaaall! For centuries the Earth has turned, and before it turned and it was more rectangular in shape, McKall was born of the moon and sun to bring off-brand Cheerios to the People. From Macedonia to the Maya to India and Cameroon and Lichtenstein and NOW to Parkland, McKall (kaw kall!) has wandered bringing animal impersonations and... Mostly animal impersonations. Oh and off-brand Cheerios. So much better than normal Cheerios, like, seriously. Anyway, if you don't like country, or don't think that the Earth was ever rectangular, that's okay because even though you're wrong about country, we don't have much evidence for the time before the round-Earth time. Woohoo! Yay planet! KAW KALL

Durant Stewart Abernathy IV, the inventor of the avocado, is a really neat trip leader. He once lost a bet to a polar bear and that is how the Polar Bear Plunge began. He looks dashing in helmets. He is majoring in Slam Poetry with a minor is Tortoise Racing. Donuts are his favorite food unless he’s taking a nap and then he just likes straight tabasco. Durant likes to arm wrestle badgers, cook exquisite cereal and sing along to Legally Blonde the Musical in his spare time. When he’s not doing those kool things (that’s right, kool with a ‘k’) he’s helping the Men in Black fight aliens and training carrier pigeons. He is a really kool guy so you should definitely go on trips with him. Just whatever you do, don’t bring up the pistachio incident. Never mention pistachios for the love of God.

Emily was born in the city with the big shiny arch also known as St. Louis commonly misspelled as St. Lewis. She always had a passion for water. So much so, that when she turned 18 she decided to row across America until she found Pacific Lutheran University. She was able to sustain on grass and grass alone. Over the years she's adapted to the Washington terrain and is often seen frolicking among the native Washington gnomes in Parkland.

Hannah banana is banana farmer skunk who travels in pairs with her friend who is very vasectomy ridden. This is a Obama situation. Promptly plants pineapples originated in the woods turtleneck yes brazy. Lately Hannah has been on some balconies. Animal Crackers are helpful for Hannah's self-esteem wolfpack hashbrownswag hashtagfireemoji, but, sup. She rides a mechanical bike with two Parklandia citizens. Hannah loves falcons.

A long time ago Rika was a tributary of the river Tisza in the Zakarpattia Oblast region of Ukraine. One day a Norseman was sailing on the Tisza towards the village he was going to raid. As he stood on the starboard side of the ship he noticed a beautiful river goddess, Rika. The Viking tried offering Rika mounds of gold to go back to Scandinavia with him, however she declined. The sad Viking decided to make camp for the night in hope that rest would aid him in convincing Rika the next day. Rika watched from afar, curious of the Viking man and his strange offering of heavy metal bars. Suddenly Rika smelled something SO delicious she had to walk over to Viking's camp and ask for some. After eating the most delicious hash browns of her life, Rika decided to go to Scandinavia with the Viking. Back in Scandinavia Rika soon got bored of farming and decided to go on an adventure. Together with the Viking and their small horde of 9 puppies, the two sailed across the Atlantic and founded Minnesota. 19 generations later Rika Boorsma was born next too a healthy litter of puppies, all descendants of Rika and the Viking. With her pack of pups Rika B canoed the 1000 lakes of Minnesota. As the task proved too easy, Rika decided she needed a new adventure and traveled to PLU to become an Outdoor Rec Trip Leader.

There was once a man who tramped along looking at rocks in the vast wilderness of Seattle. He was called Sam Altenberger, and brought his rock-affinity to the land of Pacific Lutheran University as a guide of the outdoor recreations. There you can find him keeping the people of Parklandia safe as part of the elusive people-in-the-white-cars-mostly-priuses-but-now-some-others group. So, if you are in a rocky patch, call your pal Sam. He may just save the day.